Attitude Of Gratitude
Attitude Of Gratitude
Why is it that as we go through this game called life, we all have times where we are so grateful for things that happen to us…BUT why is it only when they’re positive things?
Please allow me to explain…..
The last few two weeks have been probably the hardest weeks my family and I have faced if not ever, it certainly has been such a long time that I can’t remember what would beat this pain, emotional stress, and outpour of tears.
On June 29th @ 3:15 PM we put our family dog to rest after 15 wonderful years of friendship, energy, joy, laughter, frustration, silliness, and most of all unconditional LOVE. Blue was a good looking boy and remained a puppy till he went on to do what he loves most which is chase/chew his kong and run after rabbits for the rest of time.
(I bet you are running faster than you ever imagined my boy, you are the best puppy ever. Love from all of us puppy boy!)
During this whole process, the big question remained internally eating at my soul…Did we do the right thing? Was he in pain or did I mis-diagnose his pain?
Let me explain:
You see Blue was diagnosed with cancer in his bladder a little over eight weeks ago and we agreed as a family that we would not let him suffer even for a second. Then something hit me on Tuesday the 26th of June that I will never forget.
When saying good night, Blue looked at me and deep inside I felt his pain. It was a feeling that I have never felt before and I would not wish on the worst person to walk this wonderful planet.
Blue was in pain and it was up to us to make sure he lived the way he always wanted to…Running and playing with the people he loved most. For those of you that are animal lovers and have been through this, you will understand. If you are not an animal lover or haven’t been through this you won’t understand the internal questioning that happens when you decide to lay your family pet to rest that is not on their death bed.
Friday night was a night of ages if that is even a way to describe the worst night you could possible imagine. All I was thinking was
Did we do the right thing
This feeling was overwhelming, so I did what most of us do when we are not sure we made the right decision… I asked for a sign, I asked Blue to give me a sign that he was better now than he was here and that he was in fact happier now and not in pain anymore.
BOY DID I GET A SIGN! at the time it was not only confusing but it was very painful.
The entire day Saturday I was fully present looking for a sign that could put my questioning to rest and let me tell you, I thought I found many. Some were great signs that he was in fact really happy now that the pain had stopped and he could run for as long as he wanted without having to take a nap in-between KONG tosses.
Until Sunday July 1st. I was operating a table saw in my driveway and something happened. I managed to put my hand through the saw. Within minutes a wonderful afternoon turned into a nightmare of mammoth proportions.
While I was being rushed to the hospital, all I could think about was how Blue just gave me my sign! It was an unmistakeable sign I must say…. Or was that really my sign?
Without getting into too much detail as I don’t quite know how much your stomach can take. I figured that the “A” word was going to have to happen. I thought that I was going to have to get a finger amputated and was certain that skin graphs, plastic surgeon appointments were a guarantee in my future.
As I lay in the hospital with my wife Christine, I told her about my asking for a sign.
(Christine was my rock like you have never seen a rock before..Bigger than the alps she was! She stood strong as I crumbled.. LOVE you soooo much baby)
But Blue did give me a sign. The doctor arrived and asked me to bend my finger and hand in a bunch of different ways push on things (the best I could) he then stopped, he looked at Christine, then looked at me and said…
Man you are one luck person, you put your hand through a table saw and not one tendon or nerve ending got hit. Ya it looks very ugly but you are going to be just fine.
WOW, I wish that I could post a picture of my hand but most of you will most likely loose your breakfast, lunch, or supper…What ever time it is when you read this…
I know, what about the gratitude part of this blog, your probably saying…You’ve made me cry so can you give me a little joy Dan… Right?
I was so grateful that I was not going to loose a finger. The stress was just wild thinking that loosing body part was possible. Now I know people loose fingers, toes, and limbs all the time, so please don’t think that for a second that this is bragging in any way because I’m not, I am simply sharing my inner thoughts and gratitude.
Do you know what the first thing I said to the doctor after he told me I was going to be alright?
Thats amazing Doc. Do you know when I will be able to get back to the gym?
WHAT, come on Dan! You were just sitting there prying to not loose a digit and now within seconds of getting the news, you are being so vein by asking about working out again… COME ON! right?
But don’t we all do that? I am sure that we can all think of times where we were praying that the worst case was not going to play out and when it didn’t play out the worst possible way… We just immediately started on the next path without being grateful for what just happened.
All we do is go Whoo, that was close, what’s next….. Right?
Make gratitude part of your attitude! Be grateful for everything, share your gratefulness with people. By sharing how grateful you are, you will keep that feeling and spirit alive and this gratitude will create more gratitude.
May I share what I am grateful about? Blue did give me a sign, he said…
Daddy, it is time to stop thinking you did something wrong, I am fine and you know what…Now you have to worry about not getting your hand infected. You will need some pain killers that put you to sleep so now you can no longer stay up at night crying about loosing me.
But most importantly, Blue was sharing the very important lesson of Gratitude. He made us realize that we are so grateful to have had such a wonderful friend, companion, and teacher as we had in Blue.
Be grateful for what you have had in the past and what you do have now, never forget that PLEASE!
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